We like surprises in our erotica. The sexy librarian is smart and reserved, but, unexpectedly and under certain circumstances, her wild side is awakened. Her strength is in her sexuality.
This made me start thinking about what would be surprising in a man. We expect the hero to be strong and powerful, so a vulnerabilty may surprise us and make him more human. And how delightful it is for the heroine when his vulnerability turns out to be his uncontrollable desire for her own sweet self. Which makes her feel more attractive and dynamic.
Her sexuality is her strength, and his sexual feelings make him vulnerable--one enhances the other.
Exercise:
What other kinds of surprises are sexy? Make a list. Use at least one in a scene.
06 April 2010
28 March 2010
Dream Diary
My dear husband told me about a dream he had about the two of us.
He went into great detail, including the scent of my skin, his kisses down my spine, the way my hands looked on his body, the sexy outfit I wore, how turned on he was...it was so flattering to hear it. I mean, for heaven's sake, a sexy dream about his own wife. Of course I wanted to make his dream come true for him.
I was spurned on to start a diary the two of us can keep, one filled with dreams and fantasies and memories. I may start with a questionaire we can each fill in separately and then compare notes.
Exercise:
Start your own diary, by yourself if you don't have a current lover. Write out your fantasies: those you wish to fulfill, and those you'd never want to do in real life. Don't share your thoughts if you think your lover might be upset you've been pretending he's George Clooney.
If you have a sexy dream, don't get out of bed right away, don't even move. Keep your eyes closed, and revisit the vision. Don't judge. Once you think you've mulled over every feature, then reach for your pen and notebook by the bed. Write down every detail.
He went into great detail, including the scent of my skin, his kisses down my spine, the way my hands looked on his body, the sexy outfit I wore, how turned on he was...it was so flattering to hear it. I mean, for heaven's sake, a sexy dream about his own wife. Of course I wanted to make his dream come true for him.
I was spurned on to start a diary the two of us can keep, one filled with dreams and fantasies and memories. I may start with a questionaire we can each fill in separately and then compare notes.
Exercise:
Start your own diary, by yourself if you don't have a current lover. Write out your fantasies: those you wish to fulfill, and those you'd never want to do in real life. Don't share your thoughts if you think your lover might be upset you've been pretending he's George Clooney.
If you have a sexy dream, don't get out of bed right away, don't even move. Keep your eyes closed, and revisit the vision. Don't judge. Once you think you've mulled over every feature, then reach for your pen and notebook by the bed. Write down every detail.
13 March 2010
Breaking the Rules
Characters in erotica are usually fabulously good-looking, between 25 and 35 years old, and have some kind of white-collar high-paying executive career in a glamourous big city--like just about everybody you know, right?
The cliche probably comes from those sex-and-shopping novels that hit a peak in the 1980s. Great fun if you like that kind of thing, but the sex is a little too reserved and predictable for my taste, and I don't recognize a lot of the designer labels. Not much is left after that.
So who would you never expect to find in an erotic novel? Here are a few I'm including in my stories: A plus-sized caterer. An inn-keeper in a small town. A carpenter. A middle-aged couple--married, no less! Yes, marriage can be sexy, and I'm going to prove it.
See the following books for more on diversity in erotica:
On my bookshelf:
Stranger, by Megan Hart
The female main character is, of all things, a funeral home director. The author is some kind of genius; in spite of the serious setting, the story is unexpectedly amusing and erotic. Hart also takes one of the old stand-by fantasies--an older woman initiating an inexperienced younger man--and puts a subtle twist on it. The "younger man" coyly engages the "older woman" in a charming role-playing game. I think one of the reasons it's hot because it's so realistic.
The Joy of Writing Sex, by Elizabeth Benedict
Benedict lists different sexual situations (adultery, gay, first time, etc.) and gives examples and advice on each. It's not a book about writing erotica, but it's a good one to have if you want some realism and variety in your sex scenes.
The cliche probably comes from those sex-and-shopping novels that hit a peak in the 1980s. Great fun if you like that kind of thing, but the sex is a little too reserved and predictable for my taste, and I don't recognize a lot of the designer labels. Not much is left after that.
So who would you never expect to find in an erotic novel? Here are a few I'm including in my stories: A plus-sized caterer. An inn-keeper in a small town. A carpenter. A middle-aged couple--married, no less! Yes, marriage can be sexy, and I'm going to prove it.
See the following books for more on diversity in erotica:
On my bookshelf:
Stranger, by Megan Hart
The female main character is, of all things, a funeral home director. The author is some kind of genius; in spite of the serious setting, the story is unexpectedly amusing and erotic. Hart also takes one of the old stand-by fantasies--an older woman initiating an inexperienced younger man--and puts a subtle twist on it. The "younger man" coyly engages the "older woman" in a charming role-playing game. I think one of the reasons it's hot because it's so realistic.
The Joy of Writing Sex, by Elizabeth Benedict
Benedict lists different sexual situations (adultery, gay, first time, etc.) and gives examples and advice on each. It's not a book about writing erotica, but it's a good one to have if you want some realism and variety in your sex scenes.
20 February 2010
Variations on Archetypal Plots
A story can be sexy, but a good story has to have a plot, too.
There are only so many plots, but for each one there are unlimited stories to tell. Think about Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story--same plot, but very different approaches. More recently, Taming of the Shrew became 10 Things I Hate About You, and Jane Austen's Emma inspired Clueless.
Exercise:
Think about a fairy tale or classic story that means something to you. Just using the bare outline of the story, write a quick paragraph or two outlining a plot of your own. It doesn't have to contain every element; the original might be just an inspiration for yours.
Now write several more, based on that same original story. You may come up with something splendid for your eighth try. Keep a journal of your attempts, and when you feel stuck in your writing, come back to the journal and try again with a different story.
On my bookshelf:
Nancy Madore has written several collections of erotic short stories based on fairy tales. My favorites are her first two: The Twelve Dancing Princesses and Enchanted.
Movie to watch:
If you haven't already seen it, rent the video Shakespeare in Love, a very sexy, romantic comedy. It isn't a historically accurate account, but the references to Shakespeare and his plays are beautifully woven into the story in a clever and fresh way. Does it have a happy ending? "It's a mystery."
There are only so many plots, but for each one there are unlimited stories to tell. Think about Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story--same plot, but very different approaches. More recently, Taming of the Shrew became 10 Things I Hate About You, and Jane Austen's Emma inspired Clueless.
Exercise:
Think about a fairy tale or classic story that means something to you. Just using the bare outline of the story, write a quick paragraph or two outlining a plot of your own. It doesn't have to contain every element; the original might be just an inspiration for yours.
Now write several more, based on that same original story. You may come up with something splendid for your eighth try. Keep a journal of your attempts, and when you feel stuck in your writing, come back to the journal and try again with a different story.
On my bookshelf:
Nancy Madore has written several collections of erotic short stories based on fairy tales. My favorites are her first two: The Twelve Dancing Princesses and Enchanted.
Movie to watch:
If you haven't already seen it, rent the video Shakespeare in Love, a very sexy, romantic comedy. It isn't a historically accurate account, but the references to Shakespeare and his plays are beautifully woven into the story in a clever and fresh way. Does it have a happy ending? "It's a mystery."
14 February 2010
Valentine's Day
I happened to be browsing the internet, and found a Wikipedia entry for "Erotic Literature." link
Interesting to see some history of the genre. I plan to check out some of the classics--if they haven't been swiped from the library shelves.
Interesting to see some history of the genre. I plan to check out some of the classics--if they haven't been swiped from the library shelves.
06 February 2010
Getting in the mood...to write.
A friend I write with said, "I know you're writing something naughty, because your face is really red!" Well, I do blush sometimes, but sometimes it's just really hot in the library. I'm taking off my sweater.
I've been thinking about some of my favorite rituals before I begin to write a sexy scene. One of the most important: chocolate. And not just any chocolate, but Mozart Chocolates from Austria. A friend sent some from Europe, but I need to find a local distributor because they're almost gone.
I know a bubble bath is a cliche, but there's a reason it's a cliche--it's lovely. Canus Goat's Milk Foaming Bath has a wonderful fragrance, long lasting bubbles, and a very affordable price.
Pre de Provence makes exquisite soaps, some with olive oil--so silky on the skin. I find some scents overpowering, but their lemon verbena and lavender scented soaps are delicate and fresh.
I've been replacing what's in my socks and underwear drawer with things I wouldn't be ashamed of being discovered in. How can I feel sexy when I'm wearing Grandma's panties? I discarded the three in a package bargain brands and made room for some sweet bits of lace with bows.
I guess I want to treat myself as well as I'd want the characters in my stories to be treated.
Time to curl up with a mug of chocolate made the way the Aztecs drank it--with hot chili peppers--and now I'm ready to write...
Recipe for Aztec Hot Chocolate
2 cups milk
4 oz. bittersweet chocolate
1 to 4 chili peppers, cut in half lengthwise and seeded
optional: cinnamon stick, vanilla bean
Put milk and chocolate in top of double boiler, heat gently and whisk until smooth. Turn off heat but leave upper pot over the hot water. Add chili pepper (and vanilla bean and cinnamon stick if desired) and let stand for a few minutes. Strain, return to pot, and whisk until frothy. Pour into mugs and enjoy with your sweetie.
I've been thinking about some of my favorite rituals before I begin to write a sexy scene. One of the most important: chocolate. And not just any chocolate, but Mozart Chocolates from Austria. A friend sent some from Europe, but I need to find a local distributor because they're almost gone.
I know a bubble bath is a cliche, but there's a reason it's a cliche--it's lovely. Canus Goat's Milk Foaming Bath has a wonderful fragrance, long lasting bubbles, and a very affordable price.
Pre de Provence makes exquisite soaps, some with olive oil--so silky on the skin. I find some scents overpowering, but their lemon verbena and lavender scented soaps are delicate and fresh.
I've been replacing what's in my socks and underwear drawer with things I wouldn't be ashamed of being discovered in. How can I feel sexy when I'm wearing Grandma's panties? I discarded the three in a package bargain brands and made room for some sweet bits of lace with bows.
I guess I want to treat myself as well as I'd want the characters in my stories to be treated.
Time to curl up with a mug of chocolate made the way the Aztecs drank it--with hot chili peppers--and now I'm ready to write...
Recipe for Aztec Hot Chocolate
2 cups milk
4 oz. bittersweet chocolate
1 to 4 chili peppers, cut in half lengthwise and seeded
optional: cinnamon stick, vanilla bean
Put milk and chocolate in top of double boiler, heat gently and whisk until smooth. Turn off heat but leave upper pot over the hot water. Add chili pepper (and vanilla bean and cinnamon stick if desired) and let stand for a few minutes. Strain, return to pot, and whisk until frothy. Pour into mugs and enjoy with your sweetie.
22 January 2010
Erotica and Depression
Severe depression: it's not just feeling sad, and it's not something a person can "snap out of." It's a serious medical condition. It happened to me a few years ago, and it is happening to a dear friend of mine right now.
Having a passion for life and for love makes us feel human, alive. Losing your sex drive can make you feel even more depressed than you already are. And the medications for depression often have "sexual side effects." Oh, yippie, sexual side effects, just what a depressed person needs! If the medication doesn't completely crush your sex drive, it may subdue your ability to have an orgasm. Oh boy, thanks a lot, Doc, where do I stand in line for some of that? Does it have to be a choice between feeling unhappy and feeling numb?
The good news is that there are effective meds for depression that don't have those side effects. So if you are feeling depressed, hopeless, unable to do what you once could, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor.
And then get yourself some nice, erotic novels and come back to life.
Having a passion for life and for love makes us feel human, alive. Losing your sex drive can make you feel even more depressed than you already are. And the medications for depression often have "sexual side effects." Oh, yippie, sexual side effects, just what a depressed person needs! If the medication doesn't completely crush your sex drive, it may subdue your ability to have an orgasm. Oh boy, thanks a lot, Doc, where do I stand in line for some of that? Does it have to be a choice between feeling unhappy and feeling numb?
The good news is that there are effective meds for depression that don't have those side effects. So if you are feeling depressed, hopeless, unable to do what you once could, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor.
And then get yourself some nice, erotic novels and come back to life.
14 January 2010
Happy Birthday to me!
I always take a day off for my birthday like it's my own private holiday. The last few years I've gone into Boston and stopped by Good Vibrations, a very sexy boutique, to buy a gift for myself.
Good Vibrations
It's a very pleasant, clean, bright, and friendly shop. There are all sizes and types of vibrators and dildoes, but they are displayed so tastefully it doesn't seem weird. It's a sex shop a woman can feel comfortable in, by herself or with a lover. The nice salesgirls will leave you alone if you want to browse and touch everything, but they are ready to answer any questions--I mean it, any questions--and they don't look at you funny.
There's a wall of shelves with different kinds of condoms, lubes, and massage oils, most with test samples to check out. They even have glass cases with vintage vibrators and historical information like a museum would. It is very interesting, but I always wonder how they came to have vibrators from the 1940s. Did they ask their great-grandmas for their old ones? Seriously, where would one begin to look?
There's a separate room with videos and books, and some nice comfy seats right next to the hand-crafted bondage equipment. I spent about an hour looking through the books before I bought a few. I am endlessly fascinated by my fellow humans' tastes and activities. Some I can relate to, some I just don't get. I mean, why would anyone enjoy getting spanked? It's fine for others if somebody likes it and no one is harmed, but what's fun about that? On the other hand I can totally understand why people like to tie each other up or wear those dangerously high heels.
So I'm reading some of the books. The sacrifices I make to do my research!
Homework:
Check out some of the sex books in the psychology or sexuality sections in your library or local bookstore for new ideas or to add authentic details to your writing. If that's not possible, try some online sources.
Here are some suggestions:
Two Knotty Boys
Topping & Bottoming
Good Vibration's Guide
or check out Good Vibration's online store for some excellent suggestions
Happy reading!
Good Vibrations
It's a very pleasant, clean, bright, and friendly shop. There are all sizes and types of vibrators and dildoes, but they are displayed so tastefully it doesn't seem weird. It's a sex shop a woman can feel comfortable in, by herself or with a lover. The nice salesgirls will leave you alone if you want to browse and touch everything, but they are ready to answer any questions--I mean it, any questions--and they don't look at you funny.
There's a wall of shelves with different kinds of condoms, lubes, and massage oils, most with test samples to check out. They even have glass cases with vintage vibrators and historical information like a museum would. It is very interesting, but I always wonder how they came to have vibrators from the 1940s. Did they ask their great-grandmas for their old ones? Seriously, where would one begin to look?
There's a separate room with videos and books, and some nice comfy seats right next to the hand-crafted bondage equipment. I spent about an hour looking through the books before I bought a few. I am endlessly fascinated by my fellow humans' tastes and activities. Some I can relate to, some I just don't get. I mean, why would anyone enjoy getting spanked? It's fine for others if somebody likes it and no one is harmed, but what's fun about that? On the other hand I can totally understand why people like to tie each other up or wear those dangerously high heels.
So I'm reading some of the books. The sacrifices I make to do my research!
Homework:
Check out some of the sex books in the psychology or sexuality sections in your library or local bookstore for new ideas or to add authentic details to your writing. If that's not possible, try some online sources.
Here are some suggestions:
Two Knotty Boys
Topping & Bottoming
Good Vibration's Guide
or check out Good Vibration's online store for some excellent suggestions
Happy reading!
01 January 2010
Happy New Year!
This week I've been looking through the catalogue at my library for the kind of videos that teach women how to move like a stripper: lap dancing, floor work, and--good grief--twirling around a pole. Nothing at the library. I spoke to the librarian who orders the videos, and at first she laughed. I'm pretty sure she thought I was kidding with her. She claims she might get some.
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I can totally see myself doing the dances and really getting into it. But only if I were alone in the house. The fantasy does not include an audience, not even my husband who's crazy about me and thinks I'm sexy. I'm afraid I'd feel foolish. But I'll bet he would appreciate having a private lap dancer who also does laundry and cooks a great dinner for him.
It is giving me some ideas for a new story. So now I'm going to have to do the research.
Now where is a good place to install that pole?
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I can totally see myself doing the dances and really getting into it. But only if I were alone in the house. The fantasy does not include an audience, not even my husband who's crazy about me and thinks I'm sexy. I'm afraid I'd feel foolish. But I'll bet he would appreciate having a private lap dancer who also does laundry and cooks a great dinner for him.
It is giving me some ideas for a new story. So now I'm going to have to do the research.
Now where is a good place to install that pole?
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