Severe depression: it's not just feeling sad, and it's not something a person can "snap out of." It's a serious medical condition. It happened to me a few years ago, and it is happening to a dear friend of mine right now.
Having a passion for life and for love makes us feel human, alive. Losing your sex drive can make you feel even more depressed than you already are. And the medications for depression often have "sexual side effects." Oh, yippie, sexual side effects, just what a depressed person needs! If the medication doesn't completely crush your sex drive, it may subdue your ability to have an orgasm. Oh boy, thanks a lot, Doc, where do I stand in line for some of that? Does it have to be a choice between feeling unhappy and feeling numb?
The good news is that there are effective meds for depression that don't have those side effects. So if you are feeling depressed, hopeless, unable to do what you once could, don't be afraid to talk to your doctor.
And then get yourself some nice, erotic novels and come back to life.
22 January 2010
14 January 2010
Happy Birthday to me!
I always take a day off for my birthday like it's my own private holiday. The last few years I've gone into Boston and stopped by Good Vibrations, a very sexy boutique, to buy a gift for myself.
Good Vibrations
It's a very pleasant, clean, bright, and friendly shop. There are all sizes and types of vibrators and dildoes, but they are displayed so tastefully it doesn't seem weird. It's a sex shop a woman can feel comfortable in, by herself or with a lover. The nice salesgirls will leave you alone if you want to browse and touch everything, but they are ready to answer any questions--I mean it, any questions--and they don't look at you funny.
There's a wall of shelves with different kinds of condoms, lubes, and massage oils, most with test samples to check out. They even have glass cases with vintage vibrators and historical information like a museum would. It is very interesting, but I always wonder how they came to have vibrators from the 1940s. Did they ask their great-grandmas for their old ones? Seriously, where would one begin to look?
There's a separate room with videos and books, and some nice comfy seats right next to the hand-crafted bondage equipment. I spent about an hour looking through the books before I bought a few. I am endlessly fascinated by my fellow humans' tastes and activities. Some I can relate to, some I just don't get. I mean, why would anyone enjoy getting spanked? It's fine for others if somebody likes it and no one is harmed, but what's fun about that? On the other hand I can totally understand why people like to tie each other up or wear those dangerously high heels.
So I'm reading some of the books. The sacrifices I make to do my research!
Homework:
Check out some of the sex books in the psychology or sexuality sections in your library or local bookstore for new ideas or to add authentic details to your writing. If that's not possible, try some online sources.
Here are some suggestions:
Two Knotty Boys
Topping & Bottoming
Good Vibration's Guide
or check out Good Vibration's online store for some excellent suggestions
Happy reading!
Good Vibrations
It's a very pleasant, clean, bright, and friendly shop. There are all sizes and types of vibrators and dildoes, but they are displayed so tastefully it doesn't seem weird. It's a sex shop a woman can feel comfortable in, by herself or with a lover. The nice salesgirls will leave you alone if you want to browse and touch everything, but they are ready to answer any questions--I mean it, any questions--and they don't look at you funny.
There's a wall of shelves with different kinds of condoms, lubes, and massage oils, most with test samples to check out. They even have glass cases with vintage vibrators and historical information like a museum would. It is very interesting, but I always wonder how they came to have vibrators from the 1940s. Did they ask their great-grandmas for their old ones? Seriously, where would one begin to look?
There's a separate room with videos and books, and some nice comfy seats right next to the hand-crafted bondage equipment. I spent about an hour looking through the books before I bought a few. I am endlessly fascinated by my fellow humans' tastes and activities. Some I can relate to, some I just don't get. I mean, why would anyone enjoy getting spanked? It's fine for others if somebody likes it and no one is harmed, but what's fun about that? On the other hand I can totally understand why people like to tie each other up or wear those dangerously high heels.
So I'm reading some of the books. The sacrifices I make to do my research!
Homework:
Check out some of the sex books in the psychology or sexuality sections in your library or local bookstore for new ideas or to add authentic details to your writing. If that's not possible, try some online sources.
Here are some suggestions:
Two Knotty Boys
Topping & Bottoming
Good Vibration's Guide
or check out Good Vibration's online store for some excellent suggestions
Happy reading!
01 January 2010
Happy New Year!
This week I've been looking through the catalogue at my library for the kind of videos that teach women how to move like a stripper: lap dancing, floor work, and--good grief--twirling around a pole. Nothing at the library. I spoke to the librarian who orders the videos, and at first she laughed. I'm pretty sure she thought I was kidding with her. She claims she might get some.
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I can totally see myself doing the dances and really getting into it. But only if I were alone in the house. The fantasy does not include an audience, not even my husband who's crazy about me and thinks I'm sexy. I'm afraid I'd feel foolish. But I'll bet he would appreciate having a private lap dancer who also does laundry and cooks a great dinner for him.
It is giving me some ideas for a new story. So now I'm going to have to do the research.
Now where is a good place to install that pole?
I'm not an exhibitionist, but I can totally see myself doing the dances and really getting into it. But only if I were alone in the house. The fantasy does not include an audience, not even my husband who's crazy about me and thinks I'm sexy. I'm afraid I'd feel foolish. But I'll bet he would appreciate having a private lap dancer who also does laundry and cooks a great dinner for him.
It is giving me some ideas for a new story. So now I'm going to have to do the research.
Now where is a good place to install that pole?
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