My dear husband told me about a dream he had about the two of us.
He went into great detail, including the scent of my skin, his kisses down my spine, the way my hands looked on his body, the sexy outfit I wore, how turned on he was...it was so flattering to hear it. I mean, for heaven's sake, a sexy dream about his own wife. Of course I wanted to make his dream come true for him.
I was spurned on to start a diary the two of us can keep, one filled with dreams and fantasies and memories. I may start with a questionaire we can each fill in separately and then compare notes.
Exercise:
Start your own diary, by yourself if you don't have a current lover. Write out your fantasies: those you wish to fulfill, and those you'd never want to do in real life. Don't share your thoughts if you think your lover might be upset you've been pretending he's George Clooney.
If you have a sexy dream, don't get out of bed right away, don't even move. Keep your eyes closed, and revisit the vision. Don't judge. Once you think you've mulled over every feature, then reach for your pen and notebook by the bed. Write down every detail.
28 March 2010
13 March 2010
Breaking the Rules
Characters in erotica are usually fabulously good-looking, between 25 and 35 years old, and have some kind of white-collar high-paying executive career in a glamourous big city--like just about everybody you know, right?
The cliche probably comes from those sex-and-shopping novels that hit a peak in the 1980s. Great fun if you like that kind of thing, but the sex is a little too reserved and predictable for my taste, and I don't recognize a lot of the designer labels. Not much is left after that.
So who would you never expect to find in an erotic novel? Here are a few I'm including in my stories: A plus-sized caterer. An inn-keeper in a small town. A carpenter. A middle-aged couple--married, no less! Yes, marriage can be sexy, and I'm going to prove it.
See the following books for more on diversity in erotica:
On my bookshelf:
Stranger, by Megan Hart
The female main character is, of all things, a funeral home director. The author is some kind of genius; in spite of the serious setting, the story is unexpectedly amusing and erotic. Hart also takes one of the old stand-by fantasies--an older woman initiating an inexperienced younger man--and puts a subtle twist on it. The "younger man" coyly engages the "older woman" in a charming role-playing game. I think one of the reasons it's hot because it's so realistic.
The Joy of Writing Sex, by Elizabeth Benedict
Benedict lists different sexual situations (adultery, gay, first time, etc.) and gives examples and advice on each. It's not a book about writing erotica, but it's a good one to have if you want some realism and variety in your sex scenes.
The cliche probably comes from those sex-and-shopping novels that hit a peak in the 1980s. Great fun if you like that kind of thing, but the sex is a little too reserved and predictable for my taste, and I don't recognize a lot of the designer labels. Not much is left after that.
So who would you never expect to find in an erotic novel? Here are a few I'm including in my stories: A plus-sized caterer. An inn-keeper in a small town. A carpenter. A middle-aged couple--married, no less! Yes, marriage can be sexy, and I'm going to prove it.
See the following books for more on diversity in erotica:
On my bookshelf:
Stranger, by Megan Hart
The female main character is, of all things, a funeral home director. The author is some kind of genius; in spite of the serious setting, the story is unexpectedly amusing and erotic. Hart also takes one of the old stand-by fantasies--an older woman initiating an inexperienced younger man--and puts a subtle twist on it. The "younger man" coyly engages the "older woman" in a charming role-playing game. I think one of the reasons it's hot because it's so realistic.
The Joy of Writing Sex, by Elizabeth Benedict
Benedict lists different sexual situations (adultery, gay, first time, etc.) and gives examples and advice on each. It's not a book about writing erotica, but it's a good one to have if you want some realism and variety in your sex scenes.
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