Sex with a stranger

It starts with some flirty and then teasing talk, standing close and casually touching each other, and then one of you says in a meaningful way, "Let's go up to my room (or out to my car)" or one takes the other's hand and asks, "Wanna go someplace more private?" and leads him or her to a quiet room or closet or corner of the garden or whatever.

Then, on the way there's usually no talking at all, maybe slight grinning at each other 'cause you have this naughty secret between you and you know what's going to happen very soon. Or maybe some gasping and furrowing of eyebrows as you wordlessly convey that you're shocked, yes shocked, that you are really doing this and you just can't believe it but you just can't stop yourself. If you do say anything, it's "I can't believe I'm doing this, I really can't" or "This isn't like me, it really isn't."

Once at the destination there's the heavy breathing, groaning and gasping and ripping off of clothing. Sometimes only half the clothing comes off, 'cause you can't wait another moment. And there's mad mad sex, not in the missionary position, but something a little more daring and possibly uncomfortable like up against a wall, or on the ground, or with your back pressed against the steering wheel steaming up the car windows, with the risk of getting caught in the act or found out later.

You don't care how slutty you act because you'll (presumably) never see this person again, and you're free to expose the wild side that you're too modest or reserved or scared to let your everyday lover see. This anonymous person is not going to judge you or say no to anything. They want you, and they want you now. You feel liberated.

And when it's over, it's over. One or both of you has to dash out, because someone will be wondering where you are.

And there's usually some evidence later--your car is parked somewhere it doesn't belong at a time it shouldn't be there, or you're driving home at sunrise, or you have carpet burns, suspicious bruising, clothing ripped and stained with makeup or tell-tale fluids, broken zippers or missing buttons, and you show up at work hungover, with streaked makeup, ratty hair, and wearing last night's party dress all wrinkled, no underwear, and your pantyhose in your purse. And, depending on the circumstances, you're completely filled with either shame or pride, sometimes alternating between the two.

(Previously posted by me on the NaNoWriMo site when someone had a question about anonymous sex. This will probably show up in an edited and more detailed version in my novel.)

Favorite Fantasies

Some of women's favorite sexual fantasies include:
group or 3-some
famous person
stranger
same gender
having an audience
exotic location
former lover
faceless stranger
domination
submissiveness
the forbidden
younger man
rich, powerful man
prostitution
sexy clothing
being adored
making a porn film
add your own...

Exercises:
Write out one of your favorite fantasies as a story with characters other than yourself.

Try writing a different scenario than you usually do--maybe even combine more than one element from the list above to create a zestier scene!

On My Bookshelf:
Nancy Friday has written several collections of women's fantasies, and one of men's. The fantasies as written are not complete stories themselves, but some of them may inspire you.

Erotic without sex

Someone in my writer's group once wrote a scene about two people at a party who were having a secret love affair. The crowd, the noise, the music, the lights--everything--the party swirled around them and filled the room. But the two of them could think of nothing else but each other. They were hyper-aware of each other, but they couldn't let anyone else know. The man ran a fingertip down the length of the woman's arm. That's all. They didn't otherwise touch, and they didn't even speak.

It was so erotic, that I still remember it, years later.

So what made it erotic? The tension, the longing, the wanting but not having. I want to remember this the next time I write a scene.

"Pleasant unpleasantness"

...or "unpleasant pleasantness." It's something I invented to use when I need to come up with a new phrase. I found myself using similar descriptions over and over, and getting stalled in the middle of a heated scene.

I take out my thesaurus--again with the thesaurus!--and I jot down synonyms for "pleasant" or "pleasure" or words like it. Examples: delight, please, thrill, enjoy, gratify, joy.

Then I jot down synonyms for "unpleasant." Examples: torture, suffer, ache, torment, anguish.

Combining one from column A and one from column B, you get:
delightful torture
thrilling torment
joyful suffering

It works the other way around, too:
anguishing thrill
aching delight
tormented gratification

Excercise:
When your characters are on the plateau before orgasm, give them some "pleasant unpleasantness" or "unpleasant pleasantness." They will be achingly grateful, and delightfully anguished.

Thesaurus--part 2

Ever notice how a lot of words and phrases about food, cooking, and eating are also used sexually?

hunger, ravage, lick, nibble, sweet, crave, relish, lavish, savor, zest, spice, dainty, satisfying, simmer, melt, scorch, heat up, tantalize, intoxicating...

Exercise: Make your own list. Write a scene invloving a meal, and without mentioning sex or sexual terms, show how much one participant desires and/or teases another. How delicious!

NaNoWriMo begins today!

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) began at midnight--time to get the laptop heated up. Nothing like the excitement of a world-wide, month-long write-in!

NaNoWriMo