"Look, Grandma! I wrote a book!"

"What kind of book are you writing? Can I read some?"

I'm truthful with my friends and some family members. To be honest, I sometimes like to see the reactions I get from people.

My girlfriends are absolutely giddy anticipating reading the completed book. I did email them--with a warning--one of the hottest scenes I've finished so far, and I was surprised at their reactions. The friend whom I thought was the most conservative is the one begging loudest for more.

But what about everybody else? Do I want my co-workers to know my sexual self? Will I want to do a public reading in a bookstore? Should it be a racy scene, or something more neutral? And what if they are expecting a stunning sex goddess and are disappointed to see, um, well, me--a somewhat average looking middle-aged woman.

Heck, this is what a writer of erotica looks like. Deal with it!

What happens afterwards?

I have two couples interacting in a very intense sexual encounter as a foursome. Each person has a history with at least two of the others, so I have opportunity to explore lots of possibilities.

But, one of my problems is: How do I know when it's the end of the scene? It seems simple to say it's over when the last person has had an orgasm, but that's not really true. There are consequences. The participants have learned something about themselves and each other. How have they changed? How do they behave with one another now?

Two are staying (it's their home). The two who are leaving have been estranged up until this scene and still haven't reconciled. There's still some unfinished business and healing to be done. Do they retrieve their underwear and say, "See ya" and that's it? Of course not.

Some of this can be explored in later scenes, but I am having trouble thinking of how to wrap up this particular scene.

There's no generic answer--a lot depends on what happens in the scene, what happened before, and the characters themselves. I have plenty of time to work this out. I just finished the first few chapters, and this encounter happens near the end.

I've discovered there are two kinds of writers--those who have to have a plan, and those who need to discover the story as they write it. Even though I like to have the whole book outlined from beginning to end before I even start to write, I think I'm going to have to let this scene resolve itself as I get to it.

That's not easy for me to do, but if it was easy anyone could do it...

Sex with a stranger

It starts with some flirty and then teasing talk, standing close and casually touching each other, and then one of you says in a meaningful way, "Let's go up to my room (or out to my car)" or one takes the other's hand and asks, "Wanna go someplace more private?" and leads him or her to a quiet room or closet or corner of the garden or whatever.

Then, on the way there's usually no talking at all, maybe slight grinning at each other 'cause you have this naughty secret between you and you know what's going to happen very soon. Or maybe some gasping and furrowing of eyebrows as you wordlessly convey that you're shocked, yes shocked, that you are really doing this and you just can't believe it but you just can't stop yourself. If you do say anything, it's "I can't believe I'm doing this, I really can't" or "This isn't like me, it really isn't."

Once at the destination there's the heavy breathing, groaning and gasping and ripping off of clothing. Sometimes only half the clothing comes off, 'cause you can't wait another moment. And there's mad mad sex, not in the missionary position, but something a little more daring and possibly uncomfortable like up against a wall, or on the ground, or with your back pressed against the steering wheel steaming up the car windows, with the risk of getting caught in the act or found out later.

You don't care how slutty you act because you'll (presumably) never see this person again, and you're free to expose the wild side that you're too modest or reserved or scared to let your everyday lover see. This anonymous person is not going to judge you or say no to anything. They want you, and they want you now. You feel liberated.

And when it's over, it's over. One or both of you has to dash out, because someone will be wondering where you are.

And there's usually some evidence later--your car is parked somewhere it doesn't belong at a time it shouldn't be there, or you're driving home at sunrise, or you have carpet burns, suspicious bruising, clothing ripped and stained with makeup or tell-tale fluids, broken zippers or missing buttons, and you show up at work hungover, with streaked makeup, ratty hair, and wearing last night's party dress all wrinkled, no underwear, and your pantyhose in your purse. And, depending on the circumstances, you're completely filled with either shame or pride, sometimes alternating between the two.

(Previously posted by me on the NaNoWriMo site when someone had a question about anonymous sex. This will probably show up in an edited and more detailed version in my novel.)

Favorite Fantasies

Some of women's favorite sexual fantasies include:
group or 3-some
famous person
stranger
same gender
having an audience
exotic location
former lover
faceless stranger
domination
submissiveness
the forbidden
younger man
rich, powerful man
prostitution
sexy clothing
being adored
making a porn film
add your own...

Exercises:
Write out one of your favorite fantasies as a story with characters other than yourself.

Try writing a different scenario than you usually do--maybe even combine more than one element from the list above to create a zestier scene!

On My Bookshelf:
Nancy Friday has written several collections of women's fantasies, and one of men's. The fantasies as written are not complete stories themselves, but some of them may inspire you.

Erotic without sex

Someone in my writer's group once wrote a scene about two people at a party who were having a secret love affair. The crowd, the noise, the music, the lights--everything--the party swirled around them and filled the room. But the two of them could think of nothing else but each other. They were hyper-aware of each other, but they couldn't let anyone else know. The man ran a fingertip down the length of the woman's arm. That's all. They didn't otherwise touch, and they didn't even speak.

It was so erotic, that I still remember it, years later.

So what made it erotic? The tension, the longing, the wanting but not having. I want to remember this the next time I write a scene.

"Pleasant unpleasantness"

...or "unpleasant pleasantness." It's something I invented to use when I need to come up with a new phrase. I found myself using similar descriptions over and over, and getting stalled in the middle of a heated scene.

I take out my thesaurus--again with the thesaurus!--and I jot down synonyms for "pleasant" or "pleasure" or words like it. Examples: delight, please, thrill, enjoy, gratify, joy.

Then I jot down synonyms for "unpleasant." Examples: torture, suffer, ache, torment, anguish.

Combining one from column A and one from column B, you get:
delightful torture
thrilling torment
joyful suffering

It works the other way around, too:
anguishing thrill
aching delight
tormented gratification

Excercise:
When your characters are on the plateau before orgasm, give them some "pleasant unpleasantness" or "unpleasant pleasantness." They will be achingly grateful, and delightfully anguished.

Thesaurus--part 2

Ever notice how a lot of words and phrases about food, cooking, and eating are also used sexually?

hunger, ravage, lick, nibble, sweet, crave, relish, lavish, savor, zest, spice, dainty, satisfying, simmer, melt, scorch, heat up, tantalize, intoxicating...

Exercise: Make your own list. Write a scene invloving a meal, and without mentioning sex or sexual terms, show how much one participant desires and/or teases another. How delicious!

NaNoWriMo begins today!

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) began at midnight--time to get the laptop heated up. Nothing like the excitement of a world-wide, month-long write-in!

NaNoWriMo

Publishers' Guidelines

To get an idea about what publishers are looking for, or for some excellent advice about writing, send for the submission guidelines, or look for them online.

Black Lace has published the first and some of the best--in my humble opinion--erotica for women in the last 15 years. They have detailed guidelines outlined on their website, even though they have announced they have suspended publishing for 2010. Let's hope it's not permanent:

Black Lace Guidelines

Harlequin Romance--yes, that Harlequin--is publishing erotica through their Spice imprint. Here is an article with some good advice from their website:

Writing Dirty

Here are some links to publishers from Erotica Readers and Writers Association:

Call for Submissions and Writers' Guidelines

Thesaurus

I make up my own mini-thesaurus to help me choose other words for "penis" or "clitoris" when I don't want to use the same words over and over again, and I don't want to use the silly euphemisms you'll find in some romance novels ("male member" or "love button"). I take my cue from the POV character, and use the language they would use (maybe "cock" or "pearl").

For the seduction and foreplay I usually start out leaning towards the sweetly romantic words and phrases, then as it gets more tumultuous, the words might get downright crude. If I have a list ahead of time, I don't have to stop in my tracks in the middle of a sentence to figure out what word to use.

Exercise:
Make up your own mini-thesaurus describing body parts or the sex act.



When I plan a scene, I think about its motif or theme, and I take out the thesaurus and jot down every sensual word I find that might fit. I'll fill up a whole page. Then, when it's time to write, I have my lovely list handy.

Recently I wrote a shower scene, and here's some of my listed words: wet, slick, slippery, slide, dew, vapor, mist, glide, fluid, liquid, moist, froth, lather, creamy, soapy, seethe, simmer. (Notice I didn't write down yucky words like sopping, marshy, or soggy.) I kept the list handy as I wrote, and even though I didn't use everything, it did inspire me.

Exercise:
Come up with a motif or theme for a scene. It can be anything: beach, garden, dance, fire, music, food, weather, etc. Look up the word in your thesaurus, and let one word suggest another. Don't stop to think about how you will use a word--keep flipping through the thesaurus and jot down any words you like. Fill up a whole page or several index cards. Now go ahead and write that scene.

NaNoWriMo: National Novel Writing Month

November is National Novel Writing Month, so time to start planning. It's fun, and it's a great way to immerse yourself in your writing. The most important thing I learned from participating the last 4 years, is that there's plenty of time to write if you look for it. I ended up with a complete first draft of a novel last year and the year before. (Still editing, but one is getting close to being finished. Keep posted for details!)

Check out the website:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/

Protection?

I know some out there think the issue of protection is a distraction. I used to think so, too--until I recently read a story where there was no mention of it, and I wanted to shout out to them, "Hey! Stop! Be careful!" It was more of a distraction for me when the author left it out.

There are lots of ways to incorporate those little foil or cellophane packets into the foreplay, and still keep the scene romantic or hot. And you can always set the story in the 60s or 70s, that wonderful window of opportunity between the availability of the birth control pill, and the onset of deadly serious STDs.

Beginning with Characters

I begin with the characters, because I believe that the characters drive the story--they determine every action, and their actions determine the outcome. You have to know your characters, know what they will do or say in a given situation, and how they will do it or say it.

Readers want to care what happens in a book, which means they want to care about what happens to the characters. Otherwise, it's just bodies going through the motions. Yawn.

How do I come up with characters? I'll make a list of names, then cross them out, one by one, until I find a name I like. I read a lot of psychology books, and books about relationships. Elmore Leonard says he "interviews" his characters before he begins to write.

Exercise:
Look in the library for the kind of book new parents refer to when naming their little darlings. Pick out a name and make out a kind of inventory for them: what would this character look like? What does she have in her purse? What does he eat for lunch? What kind of job, house, pet, family, past does this character have? What does this character want more than anything? What's the worst thing that could happen to this character? Those last two questions could determine your whole story.

Do the same thing for a second character, then imagine the two of them in the same room. An exciting story is when the worst thing for one character is what's most wanted by another character.

On my bookshelf:
Beyond Jennifer and Jason by Linda Rosenkrantz and Pamela Redmond Satran

The Complete Writer's Guide to Heroes and Heroines by Tami D. Cowden, Caro LaFever, and Sue Viders

45 Master Characters by Victoria Schmidt

Just Your Type by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

First--What is Erotica?

Let me get this out of the way right away: My stories are not about my life or even what I would wish to happen in real life. Real life can be kind of boring, and, well, messy. But I do like to joke that I keep having to stop writing to do more research.

What's erotica. It's not porn, and it's not necessarily romance. Erotica engages the senses to arouse the reader, where porn merely describes the action, sometimes crudely. In genre romance, the reader expects a beautiful heroine and a hunky hero to meet, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after.

In erotica, the heroine doesn't necessarily have the same partner throughout the story, and she may not have a permanent relationship by the end. She explores her sexuality, often discovering the kinky side of herself. The sex is the story--without the sex, there is no story.

In my own writing, and in most currently published erotica, the sex is consensual, the characters are of legal age, and everyone enjoys themselves. I also make sure everyone uses protection, but that's a whole separate topic.

I am currently working on an erotic novel, and I'm using this blog to keep a record of what I learn along the way. I'm not an expert, but I hope that other writers of erotica will find the results helpful.

Let's get some good writing out there and keep the publishers busy!