Relief...

Last week I had a moderate case of "I'm a terrible writer and I'll never have another good idea." It is a familar part of my creative process. Self-doubt turns to self-loathing--but I usually keep from falling completely into the maelstrom. Usually.

I hate feeling like I'll never snap out of it and that I have to face the fact I am a fraud.

Yesterday, I wrote a few words of a short story I've been thinking about, and ended up crossing out everything. Alas...

Today, I went back to my notebook, but instead of trying to write the story, I opened a thesaurus. I picked through it, writing down words that fit with the title, the theme, the emotions of the story. Brainstorming. An opening sentence came to me. And then another.

I had only a few minutes before I had to leave for work, and I wrote with extreme urgency without censure. I was sure I was going to scrub most of it during revision, but at least I had something to work with instead of the terrifying blank page.

Later in the day I opened my notebook to the collection of hand-written words from the thesaurus; right in the middle of the page was the most perfect word for the title. And the few sentences on the next page weren't bad. Some of it was pretty good. One sentence--or rather one phrase--was, dare I say, brilliant? I was finally writing the story I had imagined.

This cycle will repeat itself, over and over again, for the rest of my life. I know this. But I also know the secret: "keep going."

Camp NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is held in November, but NaNo-ers wanted the experience other times of the year, so we now have Camp NaNoWriMo twice a year: June and August.

If you write and want to have some fun and support from an international on-line writing community, check it out--it's free!

Camp begins today.